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 1998-2001

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  2009



TEXT WRITTEN BY ALISSA BENNETT
*If you wish to re-print or quote from sections of the monologue, please credit author Alissa Bennett.
*And if you wish to re-print the full monologue you must receive permission from author Alissa Bennett.

Monologue

I have kept the memories you've lost, remembered the days you've neglected, filed them away inside of myself and protected them from your forgetting. I remember watching you at 15- seeing you in your room from a distance, trying to calculate all of the secrets you keep even though I'm much too young to understand. I feel the weight of an empty perfume bottle, of a secret diary, of our mother's photograph; the objects I've touched and heard, the things you've kept without knowing that you kept them for both of us.

This is a video about how I worshipped you and about how I loved you and love you still. This is a video that remembers you to yourself: the slow swish of a synthetic skirt against the cold, the sound of your skates against glass of ice, a calculated scrape and clash of metal, the freedom you found in release when you scaled an impossible distance, flying forth and falling back, an exit and re-entrance that's endless even now.

A game we played: the rules are simple: never touch the ground; you will disappear if you touch the ground. The floor is lava, the floor is lava. We slide down the bannister, walk across the table, slip across silken upholstery. 3,2,1, and I know that you're ready: the floor is lava, the floor is lava, the floor is lava.