TEXT WRITTEN BY ALISSA BENNETT
*If you wish to re-print or quote from sections of the monologue, please credit author Alissa Bennett.
*And if you wish to re-print the full monologue you must receive permission from author Alissa Bennett.
SEAN: ...you know, because I totally thought that he'd get them somehow and realize that I've just been waiting here for him to save me, like,
forever, or like, at least for seven months or however long it's been, and I don't know, I guess that I just figured out that shit doesn't really happen,
I mean, I just figured that out pretty recently. That you can't sit around forever waiting to be rescued because its never gonna happen, and everyone knows
that. People can ruin you, fuck your plans up and all that shit, but no person is ever going to save you. Not ever. And that's why I don't do it anymore.
I just keep all of my secrets to myself now, and I donít expect to hear the things that I cant say. I don't even know what I was thinking.
You know when someone is about to disappear, I mean, I know what's going on and it will be easy for him. I will close my eyes for a second,
and he'll be gone, and he'll have taken important parts of me with him, I mean the parts you need to be a person, and for me it will just be like
"Oh, just forget me. I never even existed." That's the power that people can have over you, and that's why you have to be careful about how much of
yourself you're willing to sacrifice to someone else, because when they're gone you can forget about who you were. It's over. I mean, I'm not saying that
I don't have any faith in the future, I totally believe in the future even though it makes me... um... nervous... I guess I'm just a pretty nervous kind of
person, but the future, I mean, it's coming anyway, right? I guess if you couldn't really stand the idea of it, you could always kill yourself, I mean,
that's always an option, but I think that probably when you die, it's just like, um, like you've still got to hang around, except that it's like you have to
deal with everyone else's problems instead of your own, watch everyone forget that you were ever alive, never get to sleep, hang out at Christmas parties alone,
all that shit, and if you think that sounds like a good idea, then you should probably go for it. Personally, I'm not into it, but that's just me, I mean,
I guess I've always been pretty afraid of being alone.